…I’m So Exhausted
July 12, 2007
Why am I so exhausted? I guess it’s because I’m a morning person, over achiever, workaholic… Type A, the call us. But what does that really mean I start to wonder? I mean, you hear that term often but have you ever looked it up?
As I’m writing this I go on a tangent to find out. Wikipedia has a great writeup on Type A personality but it makes me look like a complete nut case. In my defense I think I’m more of an AB Type. I prefer the simple description I found online at International Journal of Epidemiology:
“Type A behavior pattern (TAB), an action-emotion complex observed in people who are aggressively involved in a chronic struggle with life to achieve more and more in less and less time.”1
That pretty much sums up my life; always seeking out efficiencies in everything and sometimes paying the price for moving too fast. Eventually, you reach a point of diminishing returns when you can no longer achieve more and more in less time because there is simply no time left.
That time came for me when I had a child and, like a fool, went back to college too. Don’t get me wrong, having my daughter was the best thing that’s ever happened and finishing my degree is finally within reach, but sometimes it just becomes overwhelming to keep pushing so hard.
I’m so exhausted. I have no time for myself anymore, and just like the Sims video game “motives” scale (similar to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs), I am in the negative on social and fun and need a break soon.
Summer semester is chock full of double sessions of Calculus (hate it, and I have NEVER used it in my 13 year career, but it’s required…) and web development (which is, of course, easy and lots of fun but it takes 6-10 hours a week). I can’t seem to study enough to keep up. It will all be over in just 14 more days…
My 33rd birthday is also coming up at the end of the month. That also means Blackhat and Defcon Information Security conference in Las Vegas that I attend every year and usually serves as a nice mid-year break and an excellent birthday party. This year my contracting employer won’t approve training or even just a paid day off or two to go. Now I’m wondering if I should just go anyway and juice up my social and fun scales before I lose it completely and go out Falling Down style.
1 International Journal of Epidemiology 2001;30:369-370
© International Epidemiological Association 2001
