Russell Thomas Home Page

Making time has never been more of a problem. Work, school, kids, family, holidays, events… it all eventually adds up sometime in your 30’s and you suddenly realize you have filled all of your available time slots with responsibilities. You start to question how important sleep really is just so you might be able to scratch out a single hour of precious me time. Your life passes by in months now; compared to being 8 years old when a single minute would seem to take forever and the night before Christmas was simply unbearable.

So, now its not just about finding me time. You also have to find we time with your significant other and combine that with Famwe time; the time dedicated to your family as a group. Of course, you enjoy every minute of we time and Famwe time but it doesn’t count towards your daily required me time. Neither does work that you enjoy, school, driving alone on a highway…. no, none of that counts as me time. The only time that counts is time that you and your brain know as dedicated me time.

Dedicated me time is time spent alone doing irresponsible things simply for the sake of providing relaxation, enjoyment, and well needed stress relief. It’s irresponsible in the sense of activities that provide no value, intrinsic or derived… like video games, web surfing, hobbies, drinking beer, and just vegging out in front of the TV. That’s time that matters more than you think, and it’s time that must be taken or you risk losing touch with reality.

Normally this would be an appropriate Rant of the Day for me, but its more of a life lesson and a huge sign that things need to change soon. Sure, it’s a non-topical and relatively personal lame ass blog entry, but hey, it’s cheaper than a therapist.

I never hire anyone for anything I can do myself… pending I have the time and energy to actually do it.

We recently attended a wedding and a roaming photographer took this great shot. We look so happy and vibrant that It’s like we’re on a homepage for Viagra showing another satisfied customer!

The photography company posted the wedding pics online for all invited to see. When I found this I clicked on the button to “purchase now” and was taken to another 3rd party where I had to dive through another 100+ images only to find pictures of the bride and groom. So, since I tried to buy it and couldn’t I had no choice but to screen shot it. So, I’ll never have it full size, but I do have it.

It goes to show you that professionals are only considered as such when it relates to their primary focus. The ability to ensure their website works to increase revenues from attendees and prospective customers is obviously not priority.

As my step-father once told me “Do one thing… and do it well”. He was a doctor so he only had time to do one thing anyway. As much as I would like to live by that motto my inherent curiosity will always ensure that I am a jack of all and master of none. That’s OK. There’s some interesting benefits and synergies to being a programmer and a mechanic.

My first post on my new blog and I suppose it’s appropriate to start after Father’s Day since being a father has changed my life so dramatically.

It’s always the mother, how life has changed for her, the work she puts in to keep the family running, and it’s mother who is always remembered at graduation, marriage, and award receptions. I understand why that is. It’s cultural and historical that we maintain matriarchal families, but modern families shouldn’t be predisposed to such notions anymore. And, neither should your child. Most children don’t know what it’s like to have an active, caring father who provides his fair share of support in the family.

For as much as I can remember, my father was a very selfish, angry, egotistical bastard. Regardless, that’s no excuse for abandoning his kids just because the marriage failed. The negative effects of having such a father and being abandoned during the most critical years of a man’s life will last for the remainder of mine. Although, there has been at least one positive outcome… I will never leave my children and I will always strive to be the best father a kid could ever want.

Like most families today we are working parents that struggle to survive on a combined income that would be considered astronomical just fifty years ago, and yes, I’m adjusting my opinion for inflation. My wife runs her own business and I have a job in another city and go to night school to finally finish my degree. There is little time left for anything but a few hours of sleep these days. So, we relegate ourselves to outsource our daycare, pre-made meals, housekeeping, repairs, and everything we can to get just one more minute in a day. Many fathers and even mothers would elect to neglect their children for the sake of themselves in such a situation, but I refuse.

I make sure I spend quality time with my kid every day. I assure that she learns several new things every day, has a new experience, and feels loved every minute. I don’t spoil her, I hold her hand through life, letting her make mistakes, and being an example to her because that’s what I should do. I get down to her level and listen to her and give her respect. In turn, we never argue and she always respects my demands as long as I explain my reasoning to her.

I never liked kids before. Heck, I had never held one until my own daughter was born. Having children adds a unique perspective to life. If you stop, listen, and learn it can make all the difference in your child’s life and your own.

Life has changed now. It’s not about money, success, material possessions, or any of the silly things that dominated my life for so many years. It’s about happiness; both obtaining it for yourself and providing it for others.

So, while Father’s Day comes and goes with a whimper, I can stand proud and remember this day as a testament to the fortitude of modern men who understand their duty to be a good father rather than a day I once tried to forget.